Saturday, 25 February 2012

ambivalent feelings on painting

what I most would love right now is to have several months of time only for painting! To explore more my art, to get better, to grow... but reality is so different...and while on one day there is nothing I want more in the world than to paint, on the other day I don´t want to know anything about art and can´t imagine to ever hold a brush in my hands again! Why do I feel so? I know that the desire to paint always comes back, but I´d like to be so much more constant and prolific. These ambivalent feelings make it so difficult to stay motivated. Sometimes I am moody, lazy or super PMS-ing (like the past week), feeling like a complete quitter.
lo que más me gustaría ahora es tener varios meses solo para pintar. Explorando más mi arte, mejorar, crecer...pero la realidad es tan diferente...¡y mientras un día no quiero hacer otra cosa que pintar, al día siguiente ya no quiero saber nada del arte y no puedo imaginar de volver a coger un pincel en la vida! ¿Por qué lo siento así? Sé que el deseo de pintar siempre vuelve, pero me gustaría ser mucho más constante y productiva. Estos sentimietos ambivalentes lo hacen tan difícil de seguir motivado. A veces soy tan malhumorada y espesa, o superafectada por el síndrome premenstrual (como toda esta semana pasada practicamente), sintiéndome un auténtico fracaso. 


Wilma said...

bueno ya volverán las ganas, a mi también me pasa, un anrazo fuerte

Yvonne said...

LOL :) Sorry for that, I'm definitely not laughing AT you, but those sentiments are SO familiar! Especially when I'm growing and transitioning - at least I think and HOPE that's what it is & I'll come out wiser ;) - like these days... It's hard to pick a subject - nothing seems quite meaningful enough! Luckily, sometimes inspiration just strikes and I get out something that works. But I know how you feel! Stay with it though, because you make beauty happen when you DO hold that brush! I love this strong piece of work, lots of bold black strokes on that brown paper - gorgeous!